Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In by Roger Fisher and William L. Ury

Why: I need to negotiate our next project deadline.
Goal: get rid of frustration when dealing with arguments.

Action: Calculate possible agreement with best alternative.

3 Key Concepts

1. No one likes to agree with a person who does not understand them.
2. Invent mutual gain : win-win
3. Insist on using objective criteria

Summary

First, try on their point of view: most common conflict at any negotiation. Because every negotiation starts with different interests from 2 parties. Very few people would start by seeking to understand the opposite standpoint. If your question to clarify their needs, you will earn trust and eventually everything you wanted from them.

“They just wanted to feel understood”.

After you formulate what’s in it for them, you can be more creative to invent a mutual gain. Keeping their needs in mind, so you can formulate BATNA, ZOPA, CZ to guide your exchange.

First, know your BATNA or “Fuck you position” before even begin.
Second, know their BATNA, it is your only objective at the beginning of the conversation.
Third, formulating ZOPA from overlapping (mutual) gain.
(Forth), guessing CZ for anchoring your first offer where you do not expect the agreement.

BATNA = “Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement” or “Fuck you position”
ZOPA = “Zone Of Possible Agreement”
CZ = “Credible Zone”

When there does not seem to be any ZOPA or basically there is a gap, insist on objective criteria. If that does not work, then say “Fuck you” and be fine with walking away with your BATNA.

Goal check: I found the negotiating formulation based on human needs to avoid frustration.

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Bonus: a movie clip from The Gambler 2014 by Rupert Wyatt